FOR
- Typed, signed letter from Martin confirming he attacked Zimmerman
- Americans have soft spot for nation’s rugged, rawly sexual neighborhood watch volunteers
- Actions fall within the letter of Florida’s “Get Out Of Your Car, Track Down Your Target, Provoke A Fight, Then Stand Your Ground” law
- That scary photo of Trayvon Martin flipping off the camera
- Big, round, happy moonface reminiscent of beloved comedian Jonathan Winters
- Not convicting him would have a fun “Wow, how the fuck did this happen?” kind of craziness to it
- Only shot unarmed black guy once, as opposed to national average of 21 times
- Presence of an eloquent and highly persuasive Henry Fonda in the jury box
- He didn’t do it
AGAINST
- Murdered a kid
- Alibi that he was bowling with friends at the time of the crime falls apart under close scrutiny
- Decency, common sense, basic morality, etc.
- Best-case scenario: He got into a fight with a 17-year-old and then shot and killed him
- His original description of Trayvon Martin as 8 feet tall, 250 pounds, and carrying a semiautomatic is dodgy at best
- Chilling 911 call features Zimmerman saying, “Hold on a sec, I’m going to kill this black kid real quick”
- Millions of paranoid, racist assholes leaping to Zimmerman’s support may actually be hurting his public image
- Always good to make the American legal system seem fair from time to time