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ISIS Operatives Destroy Hofner Bass Guitar Signed By Paul McCartney

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AL-BUKAMAL, SYRIA—Calling it another heinous act designed to shock the conscience, international experts confirmed Thursday that members of the Islamic terrorist group ISIS recently destroyed a Hofner bass guitar signed by music legend Paul McCartney. “It is nothing short of a tragedy to see extremists callously rob the world of this priceless piece of Fab Four memorabilia,” said historian James Hanson of Yale University, noting that this particular 500/1 violin bass, which can be seen in an ISIS propaganda video being smashed to pieces by black-clad fighters who then pose with the shattered fretboard and offer their praise to God, was one of just two instruments used by the iconic musician during the Beatles’ 1965 European Tour, and the only one to feature his signature. “This treasured artifact was a tangible connection to the band’s brilliant performances of ‘I Feel Fine,’ ‘A Hard Day’s Night,’ and other chart-topping hits that delighted audiences during the very height of Beatlemania. This is not just a loss for fans of Sir Paul or music lovers, but a loss for humanity as a whole. If this one-of-a-kind piece of rock history isn’t sacred, what is?” Hanson added that, despite their latest efforts, the terrorists will never succeed in extinguishing humanity’s appreciation of the British Invasion.