Company Hosts Fun Night For Employees To Get Drunk And Complain

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WOBURN, MA—Local IT security firm Acronis International has organized an enjoyable little office party after work Thursday for staff members to get drunk and complain about their jobs, employees reported. “It’s just really nice when, every couple of months, the company puts out some snacks and a keg so we can all hang out together and enjoy complaining about our incompetent CEO, our shitty benefits package, our depressing open-plan office, our uninspiring business model, our annoying receptionist, and our meager salaries,” security analyst Ted Dorz said of the fun get-together. “It’s a great chance to get to know each other better and chat about why we absolutely hate our jobs and the company we work for. I wish we could do something like this every week, if only our CFO weren’t so fucking cheap.” At press time, numerous staff members were reporting that they couldn’t wait to down five beers in quick succession at 6 p.m., mutter “Fuck this place” to anyone in earshot, and take a cab home.