Yankees Rookie Nervously Tells A-Rod How Much He Used To Hate Him As A Kid

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TAMPA, FL—Tentatively approaching the All-Star third baseman during a spring training workout Friday, New York Yankees rookie outfielder Tyler Austin reportedly worked up the courage to tell Alex Rodriguez how much he used to hate him as a kid. “Hey, Alex, I’m sure you get this from the younger guys all the time, but I just wanted you to know how much I hated your fucking guts when I was growing up,” Austin told the Yankees slugger, adding that he will “always remember” watching Rodriguez slap the ball out of Bronson Arroyo’s glove in the 2004 ALCS and then later finally admit to years of steroid use in 2009. “I’ll never forget visiting Yankee Stadium with my dad when I was 15, and every time you came up to bat I would just boo and scream “Asshole!” at you as loud as I could. And now we’re sharing the same field—I can hardly believe it.” Austin later expressed his surprise to reporters that Rodriguez is somehow even more of an abhorrent, utterly rage-inducing prick in person.