Mom Just Called To Say Hi And That She’s Very Sad

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LINCOLN, NE—According to sources, local mother Katherine Woolverton, 61, called her son Sam on Tuesday evening just to say hello and that she’s feeling very, very sad. “I felt like crying all day today; just calling to catch up and hear your voice,” said Woolverton, listening intently as her son filled her in on his new apartment and the latest developments at his job before casually mentioning how she has been experiencing feelings of deep melancholy. “Anyway, I’m going to get back to thumbing through some old family photos from that time you and your sister dressed up like Bert and Ernie for Halloween. Nice chitchatting! I love you. I’m very sad.” Sources confirmed that within minutes, Woolverton had sent her son a follow-up text thanking him for talking to her.