LAWRENCE, KS—Drawing attention to the distressing prevalence of outside areas on the planet, researchers at the University of Kansas released an alarming report Monday revealing that a mere 6 percent of the Earth’s surface is actually indoors. “Our team found that a shocking 185 million square miles across the globe are fully out-of-doors in the open air,” said lead researcher Priya Chatterjee, adding that on all seven continents, there exist vast stretches of forests, mountain ranges, and bodies of water that are completely exposed to the elements, without so much as a single room where an individual might go inside and relax. “It is quite disconcerting to realize that nearly all of the Earth’s surface is outside, unprotected from meteorological conditions. The reality is that the vast majority of the planet is at risk of getting cold, windblown, or totally soaked.” The report also concluded that more research was necessary to determine whether certain as-yet-unclassified locations, such as gazebos, courtyards, and breezeways, should be categorized as indoors or outdoors.