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Left Fielder Thinking About The Ways A Triple Play Could End With Him

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SAN DIEGO—Racking his brain for every conceivable sequence of events that could potentially happen on a baseball field, team sources confirmed that San Diego Padres left fielder Justin Upton spent most of Wednesday night’s game against the Arizona Diamondbacks envisioning various scenarios in which a triple play ends with him. “If the bases are loaded and the ball is hit to the third baseman, he could catch it and tag the runner on the way to home plate, and then the runner at second might try to take third, so I could come infield and be in position to tag him out,” said Upton, who reportedly began visualizing theoretical 5-4-7, 4-3-7, and 6-2-4-1-7 triple plays any time two Diamondbacks players got on base with no outs. “Runners on first and second would open up another whole set of possibilities. The second baseman could field a short hopper, step on the bag, and then throw to first, but the throw might go over the first baseman’s head, and if that happens, the runner at second could take off, and—well, the third baseman would have to go down hurt at some point in the middle of the play, so in that case, I’d cover for him and catch the throw from first base to get the last out. Something like that could happen, I guess.” At press time, an excited Upton was in the team’s clubhouse diagramming an unassisted triple play made from left field.