Handshake Comes In At Unusually High Angle, Velocity

ALBUQUERQUE, NM—During an introduction to another man at a party Friday night, local resident Mike Greenly was reportedly blindsided by a high-speed handshake that plunged in at an angle of nearly 90 degrees. "His hand initially rose above his head like he was going for a high-five, but then it pointed straight down and just dove like a hawk," said Greenly, explaining the steep angle resulted in his grasping the tips of only three fingers during the shake. "My hand actually flinched when I saw his hand coming." According to current estimates, a proper handshake should be delivered at an angle of plus-or-minus 5 degrees and with an average speed of 7 mph.