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Quirky Restaurant’s Bathroom Had Better Fucking Deliver

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PORTLAND, ME—Confirming that their expectations had been set high given the fun, off-kilter decor in the dining area, patrons at Nikki’s Grill said Tuesday that the quirky restaurant’s restroom had better fucking deliver. “This place is loaded with odd little knickknacks, and I will go ballistic if it doesn’t stay that way when I step inside the bathroom,” said customer Kim O’Neil, adding that if there wasn’t at least one shelf of vintage bobbleheads and a sign reminding employees to wash their hands in a fun, snarky way, she would lose it. “And judging by the boring men’s and women’s stick figures they’ve got on the bathroom doors, I’m not exactly confident I’m going to encounter wallpaper made up entirely of covers from old sci-fi novels.” At press time, an elated O’Neil reported that the bathroom mirror was ringed in Christmas lights and a tiny gargoyle was mounted on the paper towel dispenser.