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‘Fourth Quarter, Time Winding Down, Super Bowl,’ Report Nation’s 11-Year-Olds

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WASHINGTON—In a unified message coming from thousands of backyards, living rooms, parks, and playgrounds, 11-year-olds across the country announced Friday that it’s the fourth quarter with time winding down in the Super Bowl. “Down by three, 10 seconds to go—can he do it?” said the nation’s 11-year-olds, all of whom grimaced with concentration while holding a football forward with both hands. “There’s the snap. He’s back to pass, he dodges a tackle, dodges another one, throws the ball, and—touchdown! The crowd goes wild! Super Bowl champions!” At press time, after cupping their hands around their mouths and simulating the sounds of fans cheering, the 11-year-olds had reportedly grabbed their footballs from the ground and were heard muttering, “Down by three, 10 seconds to go…” as they wound up to go again.