Aunt On Facebook Casually Advocates War Crime

Image for article titled Aunt On Facebook Casually Advocates War Crime

WILLIAMSPORT, PA—Arguing that it was time to deal decisively with the threat of terrorism, local aunt Deborah Massey casually advocated a war crime Monday in a brief Facebook post, sources confirmed. “Any city that has ISIS people hiding out in it needs to be bombed to the ground. That will send a message that they can’t hide from us anywhere,” wrote Massey, who, in a paragraph-long comment below a news article about the crisis in Syria that her niece had shared, offhandedly proposed several ideas that stood in stark violation of the Geneva Conventions and international law, including imprisoning all Middle Eastern refugees indefinitely until they could prove they weren’t terrorists. “If Obama would go back to waterboarding the ones we capture, we could stop attacks from happening. We have to protect ourselves.” Massey is said to have immediately followed up her call for breaching globally agreed-upon humanitarian principles by sharing a recipe for frosted lemon bars and liking all eight of her niece’s newly posted photos of her cairn terrier.