The question of whether life was intelligently designed or evolved over billions of years has been a major point of contention since Darwin’s On The Origin Of Species was first published in the mid-19th century. Here are the strongest arguments from each side of this ongoing and heated debate:
CREATIONISM
- Evolutionary theory rests on precepts set out by old, obsolete book written over a hundred years ago
- Scientifically corroborated by numerous peer-reviewed Facebook posts
- Banana flawlessly designed for use as fake phone
- Bible verses about molecular mutation and generational metamorphosis in allele frequencies clearly allegorical
- Nine electoral votes in Alabama
- Results of natural selection experiments have only been reproduced a few thousand times in a laboratory
- Archaeopteryx way too awesome to have evolved into shitty birds of today
- Far easier to understand than evolution
EVOLUTION
- Personal feud with God
- Saw frog evolve from pollywog
- Distinct morphological similarities between ancient Neanderthal and Trent
- Nice to think we actually distantly related to family dog
- Want to see how much more upright next figure in evolutionary chart will be standing
- That one Star Trek: Voyager episode where helmsman Tom Paris goes through rapid evolution
- Dazzling oratorical genius of Clarence Darrow
- Universe was created out of nothing billions of years ago, which you’ll just have to trust us on