According to a new report by the USDA, the cost of raising a child until age 18 now exceeds $245,000, after which many parents will also have to foot the bill for college. Here is a breakdown of the most common child-care expenditures:
- $224.99: The same kind of shoes Dylan has
- $75: Quick succession of turtles
- $20/hour: Sitter to replace Grandma
- $900: Better video games than ones at ex-husband’s house
- $49: All-day park admission for less than two hours at zoo
- $0: Vaccinations
- $600: Leadership retreat for 3-year-old
- $3,000: Unappreciated trip to Europe
- $10: Pill organizer
- $5,000: Rewards for children after good, average, poor behavior
- $90: Just one goddamn photo of all three kids looking nice together, which isn’t too much to ask
- $12,000: College savings that will be exhausted by first midterm