Patient Referred To Physician Who Specializes In Giving A Shit

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NORTH PLATTE, NE—After visiting his primary care physician Tuesday with complaints of intense pain in his left leg, computer programmer Dan Fields was referred to a specialist who focuses on giving a shit. “I want to send you to someone who specializes in not dismissing you brusquely after three minutes,” Dr. Paul Niles said as he hastily scrawled out a referral and pushed Fields to the door. “Dr. Lewis is really one of the best out there at regarding patients as actual human beings. If anyone’s going to listen closely without resenting you for taking too much of his time, it’s him.” Niles added that his colleague’s reputation for giving a shit, however, often meant waiting at least four months to get an appointment.